Bruin Talk II
9/18/2011 9:49:00 PM
Due to the end of his previous interview, UCLA coach Crazy Wence2 was not welcomed back to ESPN headquarters just yet, so he had to make due with FOX instead.
FSN: Coach, thanks for coming.
Crazy: Anytime Fox, you’ve always been Pac-12 friendly. Not to say other stations aren’t…but you’ve always been one of my favorites.
FSN: Thanks Coach, lets get right down to business. Recently, ‘The Shark Tank’ released a statement from the commish regarding you, your program and your play style. Have you by any chance read this statement?
Crazy: As a matter of fact, FSN, I have. So there will be no need to repeat it.
FSN: Well then, your thoughts?
Crazy: I’ve said it numerous times…to ESPNLA, LA times, New York Times, and even those damn animal rights activists, I can neither confirm nor deny the eating of shark meat for my teams pre-game meal for the Bama game. What I can confirm is that the meal was excellent and that UCLA’s football program is one of the best in the country. There is nothing dirty going on in my program.
FSN: What about the cheese comment?
Crazy: You know what I think, I think that my running of the pistol offense was so sexy, and that it was such poetry in motion that Bama’s coach had no way to describe it in words. So, it was only natural that he consider it cheese. I could picture him now after that game thinking ‘man that pistol offense was sexy.’ -laughs-
FSN: Wow, coach, that was well put. And the pistol is a sexy offense.
Crazy: Thank you Fox. Those SEC coaches just don’t appreciate the sexiness of the pistol, when executed properly, and at UCLA it always is, it is like watching football porn!
FSN: Lets take it easy coach, this is a family show.
Crazy: My apologies FSN. Just got a little excited.
FSN: Well coach, I have to ask one more thing before I let you go. How much were you fined for the interview at ESPN?
Crazy: Well, my attorney says I should never talk about money...but I will say that the money went to youth programs across southern California so that all kids have a chance to play football.
FSN: Wow, and they call you an arrogant guy coach. I almost believed them by how this interview was going but not anymore, you are as down to earth as they come.
Crazy: You know what, fsn, I’m gonna go ahead and let you interview USC’s head coach, that’s what you want! All I ever see on this channel are USC highlights! You never give me a fair shake...They can put somebody else up here to give me an interview. Fox needs to fire you. Bum, you don’t know anything about football.
FSN: To all those watching, I have been watching football for 50 years. And if I was 50 years younger I’d kick crazy’s ass right now. By far one of the most arrogant guys I have ever interviewed!
I can only hope you all got my 'mayweather' reference at the end of that!